Uncanny Resemblance
by Dr. Stilla Live
Summary: Mars notices something horribly familiar about a boy she sees at a roadside diner - his hair. I guess you could say this is crack. T for swearing.


Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.

Edit: Changed a few words so things sounded better, didn't quote Spongebob correctly so I changed that, and spiced up an insult or two. ;)

OoOoOoO

It was a quiet, rainy Wednesday when commander Mars walked into the diner. It was a small diner, relatively empty, on the side of the road to Floaroma town. Mars obviously wasn't in her uniform – it would attract attention. Instead she donned a sweater-dress and gray raincoat. The counter was slightly sticky, the air smelled of burgers, but hey, at least she was out of the downpour. She sipped her coffee, and upon deciding it was too bitter, she emptied another packet of sugar into the hot liquid.

The door jingled, and a new patron of the diner stepped in. He was maybe about fourteen, fifteen years old, and would have been just another person walking through a door.

If it weren't for his..._hair._

He sat a seat away from Mars, and she couldn't help but notice those red locks atop his head.

The boy had a cowlick on the top of his exactly like hers, and also had somewhat similar bangs...they were only swept to the side more...it irked her. Even though all of this was probably just a coincidence, she couldn't shake the feeling that he had copied her. She was a commander of Team Galactic – she was higher up than those stupid grunts, and of course more powerful than silly, meddling, puny, insignificant..._children_. Mars couldn't help but think that this little slimeball had the nerve to steal her _unique_ hair that she spent time_ carefully styling each day_. It was like one company stealing a successful idea from another company and altering it to escape copyright infringement.

"Who does your hair..." Mars searched for a slightly derogatory title that didn't call for anything too vulgar. "...kid?" The boy gave a soft snort.

"_I_ do."

_'Probably dyed,'_ Mars reassured herself. _'Dark red hair, I can totally tell he was a brunet before..."_

"Natural color?"

"Do I _look_ like the type of person to parade around with synthetic hair color on my head?"

Looks like someone woke up on a bed of nails this morning. Little jackass.

"Just wondering..." Mars said through clenched teeth. "...looks a little...I dunno..." she paused for full effect. "..._fake?_" She tossed her hair a bit, so that little shit could get a taste of an _original_ haircut, and sipped her coffee. Mars nearly snorted it out her nose as she felt a spray of cold water hit her smack in the face.

"Whoops," the boy said with clearly artificial innocence. "I accidentally opened my umbrella. Sorry about that." He closed the fold-up umbrella while the Galactic commander hissed a profanity or two under her breath as dried her face off with a napkin. She then saw the kid toss his hair a little too, mocking her gesture she had used in order to annoy him before.

_'Oh now you've started it, Mr. High-and-mighty-fake-hair-kid. I'll show _you_ what I'm made of._'

"I see you take pride in that red dishrag on top of your head." Mars balled up her napkin and tossed it in his face. He blocked it effortlessly with the back of his hand, and it fell to tiled floor, barely audible.

"You take care of that marinara pasta well too." He smirked.

"I think your mom ate too many beets before she gave birth to you."

"Need help taking care of that spray-painted wig?"

"I've heard better comebacks from a turkey sandwich."

"I've heard better comebacks to comebacks from a wood chip."

Mars clenched her teeth. "Get lost, _you little creep_."

"Funny, you seem a little lost yourself. Need me to direct you to a mental hospital?"

Mars was extremely glad that the man behind the counter who was supposed to be taking orders decided to take an afternoon nap. She originally had half the mind to summon her Purugly from its Pokeball, but figured that the notion was a bit extreme. Besides, she didn't mind getting her hands dirty once in a while.

Seeing that her coffee was hot, but not quite as hot as it was before, she found it safe (for _her_) to pour it on the kid's head. He gave a rather high pitched shriek and grabbed a half finished water from a nearby table. The idiot poured it over his steaming head and looked back at where Mars was seated. She was already halfway out the door.

"And that's for stealing my hair, you girly little brat!"

The boy was left gaping. "...girly?"

…

_'Glad that's over with,' _Mars thought, satisfied with her work. _'but really, if I see another hair-imposter, I'm gonna mug them on the spot.' _She looked ahead and down the muddy road and saw a spectacled young man in a red hard hat, whistling merrily as he walked. A poker face suddenly slipped onto her features, and she closed her umbrella. Mars cracked her knuckles and walked slowly over to the red haired man.

…

"Ughh...my head...Dad? Officer Jenny?" Byron and Jenny were leaning over the injured Gym Leader, concerned looks on their faces. "I'm in the hospital, right?"

"Right you are, son," Byron said. "You feeling alright?"

"Yeah I think – wait. Is that a cast on my leg? And on my arms? And surprise, surprise, there's one on my neck too. I remember getting beaten up, but this badly?"

Jenny nodded. "Apparently so, Roark. And, I don't mean to be so sudden, but I'd like an account of what happened to you. Can you give us the story as you remember it?" The police officer produced a notepad and pen from her belt, and flipped to a clean page.

"Sure, Officer. I was walking down the road to Floaroma from Oreburgh. It was pretty rainy, and I was minding my own business. A girl, maybe a bit older than me, red hair, small frame, walked up and gave me a black eye. She pinned me, and took my wallet. After that, she hit me...with her umbrella, I think, and I guess I got the the broken bones I have now."

"Do you recall how much was in the wallet?"

"Well...twenty-three Poke Dollars, a cabinet hinge, a raisin, I think, and a battery. I keep my ID in the band of my hard hat."

Jenny blinked. After a pregnant pause, Byron spoke up.

"...I like raisins."

_**Epeelog**_

Silver decided to go back to his old hairstyle – it was easier to take care of, and he hopefully wouldn't run into any more crazy women with similar hairstyles.

A year or so after quitting Team Galactic, Mars took a vacation to Johto. She noticed a wanted poster for a certain female Rocket Executive, and nearly tore her hair out.

In the Canalave Library, Riley was reading a book about Cameran Palace. He nearly chucked the book out the window when he saw himself in some sort of medieval garb, holding a staff, and standing next to his Lucario.

_Feen._

OoOoOoO

This was tons of fun to write. Has anyone else noticed the resemblance? I got the part about Roark's wallet from my dad. He keeps a small amount of dollar bills in his pocket and once we found one of those little disc shaped batteries in his pocket. No raisins or hinges though. XD

You might not get the last reference unless you've watched Lucario and the Mystery of Mew. Oh, and can _you_ catch the Spongebob reference?

I spelled Epilogue and Fin wrong on purpose. It's pretty obvious, but I put this explanation here anyway.

Reviews, critiques, mistakes I made...all are fine.


End file.
